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...especially when it comes to retail. I don't really do eBay very much because I cannot stand the crushing disappointment of missing out on something you really wanted by 50p.
I hope then the person who got to this GLORIOUS gold and black tuxedo from The Urban Collection before me is wearing it with some fabulous outfit.
If it was you, own up right now and let me see you in this tuxedo, so I can wear it vicariously through you!
Queen Michelle
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Aren't the Swedish people insanely cool? I'd love to visit Sweden one day. But since that is about as likely to happen as Lindsay Lohan becoming a nun, I will happily engross myself in this delicious online shop instead.
Some of the most wonderful labels under one online roof: Anne-Sofie Back, Future Classics, Vivienne Westwood and Burfitt to name a few.
And those forward thinking Swedes also allow those across the pond and beyond to shop there too - yes, international shipping! I had to pull myself away from the site for fear of bankrupting myself.
You have been warned....
Queen Michelle
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I have an exercise phobia. We just don't get along at all. I'm aware that now I'm in my 30's I really ought to be doing a bit just so I don't end up with osteoporosis when I'm 70, but the thought of going within 10 feet of a gym brings me out in hives.
Queen Marie and I used to do Tai Chi. When I decided to try it I thought we'd be doing all manner of stealth moves which would mean we could wrestle ourselves out of the grip of would-be serial killers, should such an occasion arise (you never know). Alas I was wrong. There was a whole lot of 'pushing hands', which resulted in me pushing my hands against that of the sweaty gardener Danny who never, ever washed his hands before he came to class. All in all a tremendous let-down.
When I got the dogs, my first thought of course was: "My life is over. I'll never get to go to London ever again!". My next thought was that it might give me a bit exercise, I maybe even lose the couple of pounds I've gained since hitting my 30's. "Great!", I thought, "I might end up with the toned body I had in my 20's". WRONG! The problem it would seem is my ability to gain muscle alarmingly quickly. Whilst I have a teeny wee skeletal frame, my body has decided to compensate this seeming frailty by giving me muscles which could potentially grow to Hulk Hogan proportions if I as much as say the word "exercise". Ho bloody hum.
How do I know this? I know this because I caved in and bought the Rick Owen's biker trousers. "Wow, cool trousers!" you are probably thinking. Wow indeed. It would appear that all the dog walking, far from making me loose a few pounds, has instead given the thighs of a Russian shot putter! The trousers themselves are AMAZING but I cannot help but look down at my thighs and wince. What a cruel twist of fate! Of course I face a dilemma - I adore the trousers and really don't want to give them up, but will I ever get used to seeing my legs look twice the size in such fabulous trousers?
The upside is I can now crush walnuts between my thighs. Handy for Christmas I suppose.
Queen Michelle
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UK peeps have been treated to an new shiny Kurt Geiger website. About time too! The last one was so unappealing and tedious it actually detracted from the fact it has an amazing selection of shoes. But all the old issues have been addressed and the new site is a delight to peruse.
The images are much larger now so you get a proper sense of the shoes you are buying. Unfortunately they still don't ship outside of the UK, but perhaps that'll be the next stage.
Queen Michelle
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I think you'd be hard pressed to find a person who doesn't think Beyonce is an exceptionally beautiful and talented woman. However, I also think many of us would agree that stylistically there's a lot to er, let's say, divide opinion.
I personally think she dresses rather dreadfully 90% of the time, but each to their own and all that. I also suspect her fashion choices are as much down to her meddling mother than her own poor taste which is why, until now, she has been spared a warrant for her arrest by the Palace Guards.
However, I really must rethink that situation forthwith. Someone please wrestle those fabulous Balenciaga heels off of that woman immediately! How to make an edgy, creative and gorgeous shoe look insanely tacky and cheap? Team it with matching primary coloured accessories and straight legged jeans!
It's quite a feat to put me off a great shoe, but dearest Beyonce has managed it.
Guards!!! Arrest that woman, and bring her shoes too....
Queen Michelle
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Now Karen Millen is a shop I tend to avoid. It's a shop filled with it's own self importance. It's a shop that WAG wannabe's spend their pay on in the hope that a visit to the Corinthian in a skin tight KM dress will bag them a Rangers player. Our branch also smells funny. Like drains actually.
It's with great horror then that I find myself inexplicably drawn to this dress, which is currently on display in the shop window. I can't explain why I like it so much.
Perhaps it's the jewel-like green colour, which I envisage wearing with purple or navy tights. Or maybe the playful scalloped hem which is a bit Erin Fetherston. Of course it being Karen Millen (or Sharon Millen as Mrs Fashion calls it) it's also ridiculously over priced at £160. That thankfully is enough to prevent me from stepping into the drain smelling shop until at least sale time, in which case I may don a gas mask and delve inside in the hope of scooping it for £50.
Queen Michelle
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My gran used to knit me an endless supply of cardigans, none of which ever fitted me. She used to knit really tightly so once you managed to squeeze yourself into the cardigan, your hands would promptly turn blue due to the onset of deep vein thrombosis. That kinda put me of knitwear for a long while. I still wince a bit when I pass a rail of cheap knitwear in shops.
We are all familiar with what happens when Giles Deacon gets a hold of a pair of knitting needles aren't we? Big, silly jumper/scarf things which makes the wearer look like the wool monster has eaten them. However, knitting can be manipulated into an artform, and we are not talking about knitting 'scenes' on jumpers (a favourite past-time of my Aunt Margaret).
Swedish Designer Sandra Backlund really understands how to take an old craft and move it forward making us see that tradition doesn't mean old fashioned. Her exaggerated forms are more like sculpture than clothing, yet the beauty of Backlund's work is that even her most diverse usage of wool results in something that is still very wearable. I could quite happily prance around in one of her dresses. Cascading layers of wool fall over shoulders, bodies adorned with plump, woollen orbs, bandages of soft fluff wrap around the wearer. What's not to love?!
A while back I lusted after a pom pom scarf - well it was in part due to Backlund making me see the humble pom pom in a different light.
She won the top prize at the Hyeres Festival of Fashion and Photography for her Ink Blot Test collection and quite rightly so. It is a notable collection with headpieces, huge cardigans (so not like my Gran's!) and exquisite dresses and tops.
Many of you will also be familiar with her work for Louis Vuitton - the wool embellishments which adorned much of the A/W collection.
If only my Gran were still alive - I'd give her some of these pictures and some broom handles and tell her to get knitting!
Queen Michelle
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My imaginary vintage emporium may not actually exist in real life or in the virtual world either, but I still delight in a well stocked online shop.
Rusty Zipper Vintage is such a shop. Really, their stock is very impressive. I see it as a place to buy stuff with great conversion potential as the prices are exceptionally reasonable.
It's a shop that you need to dedicate a large amount of time to browse through and to keep visiting regularly as they update frequently. I also really like the fact there's a lot of hand sewn clothes on there, which really tickles the nostalgic side of me.
It's perfect if, like me, you are not that lucky on eBay and can't be arsed with the whole bidding nonsense - this shop has it all there for you. All you need is your imagination and off you go!
Queen Michelle
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I need a hole in the head.
But I am always partial to a bit of Candace Ang and the heart wants what the heart wants...
You can find it here BUT BE WARNED! this website looks like it has been designed for pole dancers or strippers in training. A rethink of the colours used would make all the difference. Believe me, pink and black, it will always look 'slack'...
Queen Marie
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I think it might be time for a wee makeover...
You wonder if Agatha Christie ever imagined when she wrote the first Miss Marple back in 1930 that she would still be part of of our lives. The 'Queen of Crime' is one of the worlds best selling authors of all time having sold over 4 million books, only being beaten by The Bible at 6 million.
She looks so starched and stuffy here. She wrote over 80 books like that, God only knows how many she could have knocked out if she had got her paws on a laptop...
For me, there is only one Miss Marple...
For her make over, I'd keep it simple, don't want to alarm her.
So maybe just the hat and the skirt.
The hat of course from Grevi They have been making hats by hand in Florence since 1875, so they are pretty good at it by now...
And for the skirt, Aquascutum, one of the Adidas Archdukes favourite labels. Don't think he would wear this skirt though...
All this tweed is making me itchy, I'm off to put on something fleecy!
Queen Marie
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