There is no easy way to say this.
I KNOW most people will say I shouldn't like these. I know deep down in my heart they are shockingly wrong on a shocking amount of levels...yet I do really like them.
I give you the Adidas SLVR wedge trainer....things.
Our friend the esteemed Adidas Archduke, expert in all things Adidas footwear related, will be spitting feathers when he sees these.
Ugly shoes are like the underdog of fashion; I feel they need someone like me to champion their cause and stand up and shout "it's OK to not be pretty, dammit!", and vigoriously shake my fist at Them who decide what is or isn't acceptable footwear.
Simply, I reckon these would be bloody comfortable and you wouldn't mind if they get a bit trashed because technically they are trainers and that's their job.
Queen Michelle
Ok, I confess. On Monday I broke my high street shopping ban.
Call it some kind of self torture or call it procrastination at its worst but every day I like a nosey online at high street shops like Topshop, ASOS and...River Island. I find it more harmless than daily browsing of places like FarFetch and Pixie Market because you can bet your ass if I looked at those places every day something I liked on Monday would become a full blown must-have by Friday. Thus inflicting maximum credit card damage. But with the high street, generally speaking, the most I could possibly blow would be around £70 for shoes.
Yet there I was on River Island, cringing at some, well most, of the tat on over, smug in the fact I wouldn't want to buy anything. Then I saw them. At first I was a bit horrified but, like all good accidents, I couldn't help but stare.
Fringed leggings.
But fringed all the way down in layers. The more I looked at the them the more possibilities I could see. Team them with my Horace tee (thanks Moi!), a slouchy clutch and a leather jacket and I might just have something that is actually pretty workable. I might be off my chump of course and when they arrive they will make me look like a Salsa teacher. But I'm going to give them a try.
If they turn out to be hideous then may I blame my complete lack of magazine consumption, thus leaving me to my own devices to buy all manner of daft things with no editorial inspiration upon which to create my dress-up mood boards based on sensible garments? That's my story your Honour, and I'm sticking to it.
Queen Michelle
It's been quite some time since my last confession but I feel this must be offloaded.
I consider myself very open minded with regards to fashion. I will at least try most looks once, am rarely shocked by anything and am generally a give-it-a-go type of gal. All good qualities in my book.
But I have prejudices against some labels.
They are quite unexplainable but they are there. To name a few: Bebe, D&G, Cavalli, Guess and Rock & Republic. Even at the height of my jeans addiction I wouldn't even entertain the notion of trying on a pair of R&R jeans. Maybe it's the Beckham effect - the woman annoys me no end. infact the pair of them annoy me no end. I don't know. I just don't like anything about the label.
Until I saw this dress.
It's like a younger, less refined Lanvin number and a bit like a dress version of the white ruffled top I wanted ages ago. But there is something about it which really appeals to me. And...I even like the shoes.
How many Hail Mary's for that little lot?
Queen Michelle
The Juicy Couture website.
Sometimes the things I like even has me squinting my eyes and questioning my own taste. Most of these instances are footwear related and this one is no exception.
LD Tuttle are one of those brands that i just can't quite get my head around. They appear to be one step removed from being in Crocs territory yet I often find myself inextricably drawn to them in their clumpy ugliness. However, after a wee nosy at Creatures of Comfort I find these shoes which even I have to scratch my head at. Behold the shoes with feathers...
I'm not sure what the point is of having some feathers sticking out of the back of your shoe, other than to make people think you've stood on a bird.
I fully admit that there is something in me that likes them. I like shoes, I like feathers, so I guess combining the two might click some box in my head that says 'yeah, shoes with feathers are ok". But intellectually I know it's far from OK. It's so not OK. I do wonder what Mr Tuttle was thinking about though when he made them. Maybe he was having chicken for his tea that night.
In reality I'd ever wear them as Amber being a gundog and all might mean she would chase me all over the house trying to catch the shoes with what appears like a small bird trapped in them.
Queen Michelle
Every time I take a prowl around Plumo, I can't shake the feeling that they are ripping the royal piss.
As well as charging like the light brigade, the site and catalogue always seem to have a condascending vibe, almost as though they are doing you a favour letting you purchase their wares.
Now to be fair, they do have some really nice things, which become much more affordable if you watch out for their sale.
But this leads me to another gripe. Before I fork out any of my hard earned cash, I want to see as many details as I can - close-ups, back view, details, but Plumo seem to think that if they just give you one atmospheric front view then that should do you. It doesn't!
Having said all that, I am quite intrigued by the following...
Matryoshka Shrug (Sale £95)
Matisse Coat (Sale £119)
Linen Dress (Sale £75)
And for Queen Michelle- Black Cashmere (Sale £69)
Queen Marie
Fur. Gilet.
Possibly the most horrendous two words you could put in a sentence together. Immediately conjures up images of a cowboy boot wearing, coin belt donning Ms Miller wafting around London, spawning a zillion cheap high street versions. Those damn floaty tiered skirts just wouldn't go away for about 3 summers after she'd moved on from her 'boho' phase.
The thing about her boho phase, and that look in general, is the Sienna Miller was possibly the only woman who actually looked good swathed in so many layers and jaggly bits.
It's with raised eyebrows then that I find myself inextricably drawn to a wool and fur gilet. From Marks and Spencer.
You see, I cut through Marks and Spencer every morning as it's a short cut to the street near my studio, so I always have a quick gander at the Limited Collection then work my way along the aisle until I get to the money spinner for M&S - the Old Lady Pound - the bulk of the shop that caters for, well, old ladies. But the kind of groovy granny kind of old lady - not the head-to-toe beige type.
Yet, here sits this faux fur trimmed and wool gilet and it calls to me. Everyday, it calls to me. I really can't explain why, but I see potential in that there gilet. I suspect it will go on sale and you know what? I'm going to buy it. Yes I am.
I already have a plan you see. I'll take that old lady gilet and mix it up with some leather and some PVC and I figure I could turn it into something Rick Owens would be proud of!
Minus a daft grin naturally, the fur gilet will go super well with some mega high heels, extra tight trews, leather elbow length gloves, from which I recently hacked off the strangely long fingers and made into arm-warmers, and an ancient draped top with some leather front panels. I also plan on adding some black feather trim (yes I know, more feathers) under the fur, which will hopefully sit a little over my shoulders.
My old lady gilet will be instantly transformed into something supremely edgy with the added bonus of keeping me warm. The old ladies will be horrified at my sacreligious usage of a perfectly good M&S product!
Here's hoping that bad boy goes in sale...
Queen Michelle
Trust me, we're going to need a professional in here.
The situation is getting rapidly out of hand, and I don't know how to stop it...
Hello! My name is Marie and I have an animal print problem...
It all started innocently enough. A little splash of cowprint. Nothing too heavy, I could handle it...
Then someone offered me some giraffe. No big deal they said. So I said sure, crash me some giraffe...
The next thing I knew, the lurex zebra was being passed around. Still cool. I know what I'm doing.
I only do this in the privacy of the palace, I'd never do it outside.
But then today, I was looking at this coat and realised I was thinking about going public.
How did this happen?
I've got to be stopped!
Help me Dr Dolittle, you're my only hope...
Queen Marie
There. I said it.
How many Hail Mary's before I'm forgiven??
Queen Michelle
