Let me make something clear all you companies out there that send weird and wonderful emails.
I AM NOT A DOMINATRIX BECAUSE I LIKE HARNESSES AND LEATHER.
I AM NOT SPENDING MY EVENINGS WHIPPING YOUNG MEN.
I AM NOT CALLING OLD MEN BAD NAMES BECAUSE THEY PAY GOOD MONEY TO BE INSULTED.
I WILL NOT PEE ON YOU.
BUT MOSTLY, I DO NOT NEED A PAIR OF SHOES WITH A HEEL THAT DOUBLES AS AN ACTUAL BUTT PLUG!
Butt plug I hear you say. Yes, a butt plug.
I got this email the other day that made me laugh out loud:
think high-heeled shoes with heels that can also be used as butt plugs or a configurable domintrix boot designed in collaboration with a real dominatrix. in short, we're a world away from the kind of footwear you see in trashy sex shops. of unusual design, our shoes are also made to the standards of manufacture that have made italian shoes famous.
Shoes made "in collaboration with a real domintrix (sp)" no less. I'm sold! And a butt plug for a heel? Well, I've mislayed mine so bloody often now that solves that problem!
Yes, I do like things that loosely or cheekily refer to a bit of S&M. I love my ball gag dress from Lick My Legs, I have harnesses a-plenty, I wear PVC a lot and I even like a bit of lacy lingerie from time to time, but it's more Carry On sauciness than Dodgy Soho Sex Shop.
I really have no requirement for a heel that doubles as a butt plug and find it highly unlikely I ever will. But if I do, I'll call you ok?
Especially for Levi: The offending buttplug shoe. And where to put the heel incase you were in any doubt as to where your butt is.