I received an email last night from a young girl who wanted to start her own blog but was literally too scared too because she didn't know how she'd handle the "haters".
She cited blogs like Fashion Toast where Rumi has many adoring fans but also has some deeply disturbed people commenting on her blog with vicious and disgusting comments. Whether you like her or whether you don't the girl really shouldn't have to endure the kind of remarks she does.
It's been something your Queens have been thinking about lately too. We are lucky enough to only get the occassional idiot who wants to provoke a reaction by being offensive or rude. We of course discuss said commentor and decide the right course of action, depending on the level of rudeness. It may involve sending out the palace guards for their immediate imprisonment in the Tower!
I was really quite upset that a girl was too scared to begin a blog because blogging has become a way for people, who hide behind anonymity, to vent their jealousy or frustration at people they deem undeserving of what they have, be it material possessions or positive feedback.
I discussed this with my Prince regarding a recent commentor who's been slightly problematic. His offer to find her and "take her out", although tempting, wasn't really the answer although he did say you need to take the rough with the smooth, which is absolutely true. But when does the rough become downright unacceptable?
For us, the blog is a complete reflection of our real lives and this is how we talk and discuss things. I expect the people who participate to also be true to themselves. That is to say, before you comment ask yourself "would I say this in real life?". If the truthful answer is no, then you are not justified in saying it online because you are anonymous. If the answer is yes then I, in turn, will ask myself how I'd respond to you. If you were excessively rude I'd probably smack you (I jest!). But I would make sure you never got the chance to speak to me again, so in blog terms I'd simply ban you. If you said something I found to be upsetting or uncalled for, I'd tell you and strongly suggest you to consider what you say in the future. If I feel you have misinterpretated what I have said then I will explain that to you. If you're just being a bit mouthy then you'll get the same in return, possibly more so.
Obviously there are instances when what the blog author writes may be offensive to someone, but rather than be offensive back why not just strongly, but without rudeness, say you are offended and then perhaps consider not coming back to that particular blog. It's very easy to pass by something you don't like, and probably stops you getting an ulcer in later life.
We sometimes say things that some people may find offensive, but usually it's tongue-in-cheek and not deliberate which we now realise doesn't always translate online, but we will tell you that this is the case. How you choose to take it after that is up to you.
There will always be haters, and there will always be people who hawk blogs just to stir things up presumably because they have nothing better to do, but I feel sad that it's become so prolific that it's actually deterring people from starting blogs.
Let us not forget that it actually takes quite alot of guts to write a blog in so much as you're really putting yourself out there. So whilst you may not like what you see or read, there are ways to say so without being overly rude. It just good, old fashioned manners.
I pondered the girls question for some time and basically said what I've written here. Each blog belongs to the author(s) and if they feel that some commentors are upsetting them and taking away the enjoyment from what they are doing then the answer is simple - don't let them into your world. In real life you wouldn't be friends with them, so the same goes for online. Life is much too short to have to deal with people with no manners and too short to have people suck all the fun out of your hobby.
I sincerely hope the young lady in question starts her blog and finds it as fulfilling as we do. We have 'met' some amazing people on here. The intelligent interaction between us and our readers has opened my mind to so many things and shown me the wealth of kindness there is out there between relative strangers. And long may it continue.
Queen Michelle
Edit: I want to add this link to an incredible article, which I saw on Betsey J's blog, written wonderfully by GalaDarling about girl jealousy.
